I leave Tulsa at 7:02 a.m. on Sunday, June 2nd. I'll make my way to Washington D.C. where I'll spend June 3rd doing initial orientation and training. I leave D.C. on June 4th at 11 a.m. I'll arrive in the capitol city Cotonou at 7:15 a.m. on June 5th. Busy! I can't wait.
It's overwhelming to pack your life up into two fifty pound suitcases. As I've been getting ready for this next phase, I've realized how many amenities I have at my disposal here in the United States. Am I being unrealistic when I pack pounds of pencils and can barely stand to limit myself to under ten books? Probably. I can't imagine another way to move forward, though.
I've packed my big suitcase, but I think I've only fit about 40% of my belongings inside (when it needs to hold 60%). I need to be more scrupulous about what will matter to me over the next two years.
I really, really admire minimalists. I see Mary Oliver traipsing through the woods with thread worn sneakers with holes in them, Cheryl Strayed with a backpack and $12 to her name, Sarah Wilson who bathes in her underwear to get more use out of it. But that is not me! I enjoy my books lined up, exchanging ideas back and forth. I love my walls covered in memories and meditations. I will NEVER shower in my underwear. I don't get that.
I want to take T-shirts because that's what I know, but that's not what I'll wear there. I need to take some out. I want to take books in French to practice my language skills and to share with others, but I'm about to move into an oral culture. I need to be prepared to learn the way they teach.
I've acquired my new phone and laptop, but I haven't set them up because I'm not ready to leave the Apple bubble. That needs to change. I need to migrate password management systems, apply for Public Service Loan Forgiveness, transfer my phone number to Google Voice and cancel my plan. I need to deposit cash at the ATM and call my bank.
I need to write and read and then I need to read and listen in French, because that's about to be my primary language. Goodness! It's so much! I have doubts and nerves, and when I read and watch other Peace Corps Volunteers' experiences, I wonder if I'm ready.
But when I take a break from worrying and listen instead, I'm met with so much kindness. Last night, a friend shared her mother's wise advice: it's fruitless to worry about logistics this far in advance, because I have yet to meet the people who are going to help me through it all. Things will be different, and I'm certain I'll experience loneliness, but when I worry, I'm forgetting about all the good that is certainly laying in front of me, just out of sight.
I had the chance to hang out with my roommates one last time. I am so grateful for my connections with them. Every time I raised a doubt, they met me with kindness and curiosity, engaging with my future with hope and excitement. I'm looking forward to seeing what they do. I'm going to miss home dearly, but thanks to my friends here, I know I'm ready for what's next. The outpour of support I've already received from my people remind me that I am capable, I have been preparing diligently, and I can move with the disposition I need to be successful in this role.
(If you're reading this, thanks for coming along! I can't wait to share.)
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